The wolf: If you don’t untie my legs…If you do not relies Tom from the prison in Iraq I swear to Simba- I WILL EAT HIM.

(Red Riding Hood runs away. In the rush she pushes the alarm button, and hides. Phoebe tries to stop him. As she runs she falls on the ground. One of the pilots goes down to see what the alarm is for. The dwarfs jump on the wolf. In no out situation the wolf eats the pilot.

The wolf: Stay calm. No one will get hurt. It is not about me and you. It is about me and one person here. He shows his jaws and put them in the language.

The wolf: Red Riding Hood!.Heyy… Red Riding Hood! We are now finally alone. And it is a payback time.

She hides in the kitchen. She shows up, she did not saw him in front of her, she pulls the food on him. The wolf falls on the ground covered in dishes. . Red Riding Hood runs, and jumps on him.

Red Riding Hood: This is for grandma. This is fo foleing around about the eyes. And this…this…

The wolf scratches her arm. As she tries to run in the pilot cabinet, the wolf catches her leg… The plain has no pilots, and is waving from one to other side. Red Riding Hood tries to escape to take the axe. The wolf is almost near by her. He is up to eat her. In last minute she sees the bag of the Woodchuck. She opens it, and the woodchuck hits the wolf on his head. She runs and hides in the pilot area.

Red Riding Hood (in panic): This Red Riding Hood. This is emergency! The prisoner is on freedom, the pilots are dead, and the whole plane is in total disaster.

From the airport: Hallo?! Red Riding Hood do you copy?! Red Riding Hood are you with us?

Red Riding Hood: Yes, I copy. What should I do?! How can I land this thing?!

From the airport: As first thing, there are 3 buttons, push the first and the third one, so the plain can be on the auto pilot…

Red Riding Hood: First and third…first and…I can’t see them!!!

From the airport: Don’t panic. They are there.

Red Riding Hood: OK, activated! (The people in the cabinet are happy and slamming hands).

Red Riding Hood: I can see the weather warning. Does it mean that the plane will crush?!

From the airport: No, do not worry. The airplane is on the central system controlled by us… (he sees unsatisfied to others there)

Red Riding Hood: Why  don’t you give me the instructions how to land the plane?! There are two airports before Vienna and one near me, 3 minutes from Zagreb?!

People from airport: If we do not destroy the plane, 120 000 people will die at last. Up there are 10 more left- maximum? I do not waste my time. Give the order to destroy the flight in non living zone.

All: We totally agree.

Red Riding Hood: Why don’t you tell me how to land in Zagreb?!

From the airport: Red Riding Hood, Do not worry, you will land safely.

She realizes what is going on. She takes the book- how to land a plane. In 10 minutes she knows all about it.

Red Riding Hood: I’m aware that we are 10 people here. And if I crush the plane, the number of dead people will be 30 times more. But please, just give me one more chance.

In the time she figures out how to land the plane, she turns the auto pilot off, the wolf enters the room. He attacks her. She gets flashes from how he ate her grandma. She sees to the duty free set, takes one perfume and splashes in his eyes.

He can not see, but he does not let her leg. In that moment Fireman Sam appears and kills the wolf with his security gun.

Fireman Sam: I knew I should not have let this company.

Red Riding Hood is happy.

Red Riding Hood: You go and pick some flowers, and…No …no…you go and release the rest of them, and I need to land the plane.

She is landing the plane now. As she drives it, her eyes are close and she tells the pray. Finally, the plain is being safety landed. The rest of the passengers are fine and they go to give her a hug… They go outside the plane. It is raining, and policemen and firemen cars are all over the airport. Red Riding Hood exits the last. The people from the airport give her the pilot way of HI. .

This is not a true life story. But the places and names are real.

Snowhite’s step mom continued to fly. Even thought she had bad experience. She loves it, as well the free mirrors she gets on Duty Free.

Phoebe never flies a plane again. She decided to do the last season of Friends. The seven dwarfs decided not to leave the miner in the woods.

Stefano got offer to produce hip-hop album from Sony Music. And decided to play his songs during fashion weeks

Kylie is well operated, and she is now getting prepared for her new album.

Kaliopi decided to take Pako with her, and not  to fly any more.

Fireman Sam got the offer to join Disneyland. He said: I do not belong there.

Red Riding Hood quit and never flies with the plain again

THE END

Main characters:

Phoebe from friends – New hostess in the airplane

Red Riding Hood: The hostess in the airplane, she is nice, naive, and a bit clumsy because she is working all day long. But still, loves her job

The Wolf: On the way to Hague for being judged for the supporting war tehniques in Iraq forests.

Kylie Minogue: Looking forwards to spend cheap holiday in Eastern Europe after expensive operation.Her next stop is Vienna.

Stefano Gabanna: Kylies’ assistant

Kaliopi (the worlds patetique singer from Macedonia. She has abandoned her son many ears ago because of her drinking problems and left him suffer in Macedonia. Now she feels bad for it, and all the time she sings she cries for that on the stage) Going to Vienna.

Rest characters:

-Snowhite’s step mom

-The woodchuck from Tom and Jerry

-Fireman Sam

Phoebe and Red Riding Hood are getting the passengers prepared for the flight.

Phoebe: Honey, you do not feel so good. What is wrong with you now?!

Red Riding Hood: I don’t know. I’m bit tired and I…I…

Phoebe: You went to the wrong way in the forest-AGAIN?!

Red Riding Hood: Yes, but this time, I really saw someone… maybe not. But today, I really have the bad feeling. Something bad is going to happen.

Phoebe: No honey, you need to relax. You are over obligated all the time. Start taking your medicals regularly and do not think of the job a lot. You were last shift the last night?!

Red Riding Hood: Yes. Skopje – Dynseyland

Phoebe: Nice, someone, saw someone, somewhere, somehow?!

Red Riding Hood: Yeah, but he barely saw me. He was with Cinderella and…I might start losing interest into …really bad day. Never mind.

Phoebe: Oook, you need to relax. Sit down and I’ll do the part of your job today. – Gee.. Ash. I always wanted to do this.-she goes in front of the passengers: Good day my dear sweet passengers. I’m Phoebe, and I will give you the instructions for the flight. This is Boeing of Blessed Airlines, flight nr. 705, and you are honored to fly with the newest model of this type on the Balkan… Not better, but updated version will make you have more comfortable flight with 3 new Deep Electro Radio Stations. Possibility of polyphonic ring tone on the phones in front of you and sending free MMS messages. Prince of Persia 3 will be allowed for   Business Class only. But no worries you got the cheat codes for the 2^nd edition.

All the rest is well known for you, so do not move until we fly…

Maria Curie: And what is the H= to until we need to stand up?

Phoebe: Shut up and let me finish.

Mamley (Sitting next to Maria and laughing in his style).

Phoebe: Aha, so, do not stand up until you see I stand up. In case plane crashes, the yellow thingies will, not appear. Ha ha ha, just kidding. It is all logical, have a nice flight…Hey you…

Dwarf Grumpy: I?!

Phoebe: Yes, you. I said do not remove the seat belts until you see me move.

Dwarf Grumpy: Yes, but someone set on my chair.

Rest 6 Dwarfs: Yes, someone sit on our chairs too.

Phoebe: OK. Sit down for now. We will solve the problem after in the air. (going to the cabinet) A mystery is going on here, or my name is Sherlock Holmes.But is not.

Red Riding Hood: I told you. I have bad feeling in my stomach too, especially when I see the sopooky…

Phoebe: Yeah. Isn’t that the dude that ate you and your grandma?!

Red Riding Hood: Yes. And I think that Ponte is going to place him where he belongs.

Phoebe: No worries, he only wanted to scare you. He didn’t chew you, just swallowed you. Bad experience anyway.

The alarm beeps.

Phoebe: Enough talking, the work is waiting for us. (They start to serve meals)

Red Riding Hood: Help yourself. (serving meals slowly just not to arrive to the wolf)

Phoebe serves the meals in business class.

Phoebe: Here, take the sweet apple.

The sweet girl: Sorry do you have other fruits.

Phoebe: Who am I?! Your mother? No!

The girl: No, the point is that I do not eat apples. They might be poisoned

Phoebe: Ha-ha ha. You are you Snowhite?!

The girl: Yes.

Phoebe: Right! You know,  I own 70% in Donald Trump company…Oh no. It is really you… So, here is the one who set on the seven dwarfs chairs.

The girl: Please keep my secret safe. I do not want people to know that I’m here.

Phoebe: No worries, your secret is safe with me.

Kaliopi sits next to Kylie

Kaliopi (with the picture of her son- of course): This is my son, Pako. I love him so much. Yes I do. All I do, I do it for him and my Macedonia.

Kylie: You know, I’m a bit scared. What if medical results are not OK?! What if something goes wrong?!

Kaliopi: No honey. Do not worry. When you fly with me, from Macedonia, and the person having son like Paco, it is all going to be fine. (She gets excited, as she talks to Kylie, stands up and starts to sing Macedonian national anthem. As she stands up, Phoebe goes behind her. Puts her arm on Kaliopi’s shoulder and starts to sing with her. 1 min later the whole plane is singing. Stefano makes the hip-hop rhythm )

Kaliopi: That was the best  song. Song that I love. Song for my son Pako and my colleague Kylie that flies with us today, a song to make her feel better.

Phoebe: Anything for drink?!

Kylie: Tomato juice please.

Kaliopi: No! One sangria, so my friend will be more relaxed.

Red Riding Hood serves food …

Red Riding Hood: You want pork or beef?

Stefano Gabanna: No, I just want the cell. Nr from the Mr. Cool hairy fur. ( pointing to the wolf, telling to Kyile)What you say the fur to be yours?!.

Kylie (in panic): Just take it down, and down. Slow down.

Red Riding Hood continues to serve food in economy class: Pork or beef

The wolf: I want to eat you.

FBI officer: You! You better do not want to eat anything, because sure Ponte plans to eat you.

The wolf: Beef

Red Riding Hood: Mustard?

The wolf: No. Just extra pickles, and onion rings with fried potatoes please.

Red Riding Hood: Here you are sir.

Phoebe (starts offering Duty Free Products): Anyone interested in Duty Free. Perfume, Shampoo, Marlboro…

The old woman: Excuse me, do you sell mirrors?!

Phoebe: We have in the toilet one. Per peace in the catalogue is not available. BUT, if you order one shampoo, we will give you another one free. And if you order in the next 10 min the mirror you get free too.

The woman: It is with good quality?

Phoebe: You bet. I both it last year, still the same quality. The best thing is that ate discounted this flight. ONLY 39.95.Tax not included. That why is DUTY FREE.

The woman: Can it tell you who is the most beautiful?!

Phoebe: You bet.

The woman: 3 shampoos please.

Meanwhile people start eating the food.

The wolf (to the FBA: officer): Now you’ll have to clean my mouth.

The officer: Yeah sure! Eat the meal!!!

The wolf: How am I supposed to eat with these things on my mouth?

Red Riding Hood: I still can smell not good thing coming on here…

As the officer takes the mask of wolf’s mouth, the wolf bites him…..

God bless the dude who invented internet. This really is a big thing. With other words: How am I supposed to do nothing without it?! Exactly!!! For everything I need, I ask my best pal- internet. For any source of information, for every assignment, last episodes from my favorite shows….  You connect with some reason, you find all the information you need, and after finishing the work continue to nowhere, just with no reason. I’m simply addicted to it. I start to get worried about myself, I might get chair shaped ass from sitting in front of my lap top.

The prove of my internet addiction is my e-mail. Millions newsletters a day. Who knows on how many blogs I enroll daily?!  Starting from Amazon product discounts, trough daily horoscopes, some people even get weekly reports from Sarah Ferder – the future predictor- not me, Chrystal ball answers, yahoo movies,  XXX hot news, Viagra and similar sexual stimulant offers… simply offering everything, chicken milk is missing to be completed.  From time to time I become 2 million dollar winner for being 999 999 visitor of the page, information about lottery winning ticket with prize of 20 000 000 $ – and I don’t even need to buy the ticket. Even nice people from Africa, this is the best, real phenomena mails: My husband died, I have 50 000 000 000 $. Would you like to accept those on your account, I’ll transfer to you 5 per cent?! And I do not know the reason why she trusts me?! Wow. My mail is faster in receiving letters than the fastest car. My inbox minimum a day is 100, so don’t even ask about my Bulk folder. .If I forgot to clean it 3 days, 1200 bulk mails, waiting to be deleted.  Rarely to get some important mail, or mail from a friend.  Excluding the ones from Merry, she moves so often, so every 2^nd month I get attachments of pictures with her new apartment. All the rest of it, more or less, it is all newsletters, pure advertising and my favorite ones… I forgot to mention, when it comes to mails, most wanted, and most excited I get when I receive FWD mail. I admit, those are the top of the iceberg. Most people count them as junk mail, but for me, precious or fortune.  First thing I see subject: Fwd>Fwd>Fwd> Read it!!!…. I ignore all the others, directly focusing on that one. Kind of addicted to them.  Sometimes, when I get bored, and when I mange to break into my friend’s mail, and see that she/he has received and didn’t forwarded it to me?! I get pissed off. How can people be so stupid, and not willing to read and forward it?! They are named Forward mails to be kept only for you?!!! Selfish friends. They are not giving me new opportunities for making new wishes. And I’m in that development period, when I’d be glad to solve career, apartment, car, by wishing only. Nor Santa might help me. Gosh, I can not believe it. No, I’m not that kind of bustard. I give equal opportunities to all the people, not stigmatizing in age range, skin color or level of education. Plus, by forwarding it, I’m showing respect to the one who have forwarded the mail to me, because I know how many troubles he/she has been trough.  Starting from donations for African kids- I never donate, but at least I read it, trough, Love explanations and Indian love stimulant thoughts… Best friend quotes, you don’t even want to imagine how many times I’ve received the one with the old man and his dog… including even those the Microsoft petition, send it to as much as more and you’ll get paid 150 $ per mail- I never did, maybe because on my private mail my First and Last name are not correctly written so they can’t find me to give the cash to me. Ok, only Chinese life stories are being ignored, it is not that they are not well and pathetically written, but I still think that I’m brave enough to get touched by that shit… All the rest is welcomed… So, as long as I have once less favorite, here comes and the ones I like the best. You get the mail, subject already you know: Fwd>Fwd>Fwd> Check this out! You open the mail, and simply fall on the ground from the abstract of the mail. Sort of like reading to introduction of Cinderella: Once upon a time, there was a girl in Chicago. The girl lived alone, and used to have a simple job that she didn’t like it at all. As much as she tries, the worse the situation gets. She brakes up with her boyfriend, she never gets invited to the interview….The years were crossing by, and no changes have been made. Not until one sunny day in Chicago. The girl went to work, she opened thee mail and got… Guess what? She got the mail that now is available on my computer, and after receiving that mail, her life has changed a lot in the universe’s easiest way. All she has done for the changes was:  read the mail, in the middle of the mail, in the beginning of the blank part, she closed her eyes, and in 15 sec she made a wish. According to the mail, the wish should come true in 15-25 min, maximum to 24 hours. Look at that, how people are solving the problems in the life. So, as long as the girl from Chicago is not my friend, who means she forwarded the mail to as much as possible people, now I have the opportunity for the wish. I have tried, and tried, and still trying but the wish never comes true. Maybe, because we live in one modern society, so even when it comes to making a wish, some requirements have to be accomplished. Not College degree and CV letter but other easier stuff.  I do not care if they are harder or easier, it is requirements we are talking about. So even when it comes to wish, you start having some problems: 1. As I mentioned, I’m in the part of life, when I haven’t made strong decision about my life integrations, so before I make the wish, I have to think which is most important from all 350. 2^nd, before I make the wish, I need to fill my address book with min 50 names, those are the requirements If you don’t send this mail to 25 people in next 20 min, the wish falls and you will die!!! – and I don’t even have 1/3 of the required mails, in that 1/3, 1/3 belongs to hosting companies I’m interested to enroll in, and if a company is a hosting as well, it means it has stabile economic environment, so the boss is not interested in FWD mail, because his wish has already came true – to own that company I guess?! How am I supposed to be relaxed after these strong traumatic finish lines in the mail?! Gosh, even for a wish?! In other hand, I understand the time limits; it is like going to a gipsy predictor. First we make lovely conversation about your private life, after that you give her 250 dollars and she tells you all she knows about your life. And this is free, so still it worth to try.

So, now I have my wish and I have improved my keyboard knowladge on higher level as well – finding 25 people that know you in only 10 min. The wish is made, and …. 4 min and 25 sec. the 25 mails were sent. All was considered in accordance of the deadline. Now I can relax with one cigarette break, and wait for 15-25 min until the wish comes true. Is a Ferry supposed to come out of my DVD r/w?!  Ok, this is joke?! 15 min have passed, 25 min, 24 hours… I understand that the Ferry has a lot’s of work this month. Appearing in minimum 25 000 DVD r/s, but did she forget me at all?! I won’t take much of her time, all I need is to appear, wave with the magic wood and she can go on with her DVD trip.  Does she mind that I have lap top from 2004?! No, Good Ferry is Good Ferry and she does equal opportunity to all as well. May be is not her problem, may be the problem is in me. I always open my personal mail on Saturdays, at the noon. My wishes are mostly for career development.  Until I make the wish, send the mail, 25 min – by requirements… it came 16 30. Maybe, HR manager reads my mail, but in time when the office is supposed to be closed.  On her way home she thinks to call me first thing on Monday, but I guess she is the weekend person, and she/he gets drunk so until Monday forgets about me….

Forget the FWD mail, when is next job fair so I can look for mouthing serious?!

I really am becoming a phenomenon when it comes to the air transportation. A way back to home, a new way to the world of shame. First question people asked me is: What miracle saved you this time?! instead of : how many days are you going to stay, and saying the alternative epilogue- during the stay, call me for coffee break. A flight can not pass me trough, if I do not have some unorganized plan.  The best part is, as I just say: it can not get any worse. This flight was top of the iceberg. This is the jelly of the hamburger, the maximum of all of them…On every next trip, or I don’t need to wait for next trip, next connection, the same day, as soon as I started getting out of the shock, and remembering where was my final destination, new awful- for many people, happy for me, experience is happening. Even worst, this is DVD for my VCR. There is no end.  In the beginning it was kind of stressfully, now, I simply know that something wrong is going to happen, and I do not even make plans for solving something. Just, waiting for the experience to start again… I just got addicted to the airports. New nerds, new nice people- nerds are always those who are being practical and are always in accordance to the airports rule book, and nice are always those who fall on my acting experiences, and feel sorry for me and leave me relaxed, and solve my problems. I love airports as much as one stopper on the high road is addicted to high road. But, as long as the weather conditions are un fair, and high roads are less safe, I decided that I will not stop visiting airports, until I find nice and comfy place, with as much a possible connections from Skopje- preferable.  If you ask me, if I need to tell my favorite airport experience, it will be hard to measure which was better- or worse. If I compare my last two flights: the one (not nr1, just the one, you decided which one wins), I have missed the airport. Not the gate, not the terminal. I went to the totally opposite airport, and I didn’t know that. I don’t miss flights, like normal people could do… for some known reasons. I take the biggest challenge. I have flight at 14 00, from Fiumicino- Skopje. I packed my bags, I didn’t even went for the last coffee brake in the city- No Daniel, this time, you’ll get coffee brake at the airport, after you safely  check in. ( I’m not worried about having safe flight, more is up to having safe boarding ) Just to make sure everything is perfectly done. I’m going to Roma Termini, barely, barely walking- 2 days before this flight, I fall into one wide open shaft- I was so impressed by  the colosseum, that I forgot to see where am I going, and the up mentioned object blocked my happiness by inviting me in with my left leg only. I’m running to catch the train, I went with 2 suitcases, now I have 4-5 with me (who knows when will be the next time I’ll visit Roma, so every tinny stone that I saw in front of great monument, I placed in my bags- one of the suitcases hit me all the time in the injured part of my left leg, and still I was confident to catch the flight. Nothing stopped me. – As soon as I check in, I can sit, order coffee and star to cry- to express the pain from may leg. I bought the ticket – for the first train going to the AIRPORT, I got in the train, arrived at the airport, no MAT information deck?! I’m going to the next floor of the Airport, asking one pretty nice lady to tell me on what gate should I be on… She saw the ticket, and in few seconds bursted laughing- Oh, honey, this is not that gate. You are not even close to it. The is Campino, your flight is Fiumicino. We don’t have flight so Skopje at all. You need to go back to Roma Termini, buy new ticket for FIUMICINO AIRPORT, and then ask someone to help you!!!   I really though this is the best. Not a few months have passed, I started planning my next PM. Next project and another new next destination- London. Heathrow really amazed me- after JFK. People are so frighten, that have whole new unique rules. “The bag rule “! You need to put you lap top bag in one place, your lap top in other place, put this bag here, another bag here, shoes you place here…. Etc…. In this procedure, my lap top bag was filled with DVD’s CD’s and all stupid stuff, it took me 20 min. until I pass trough the sensor. I got embarrassed, a 2 mile line was behind me, because of me, and in the rush, to pack the shit, I give 2 more steps, the bag is opening by itself and my lap top fall on the ground. I might need to see a specialist. People get paranoid if they drop coins, not when it is all about lap top. So, I’m going to Lufthansa information deck, where this nice German- English speaking lady, explains me total new article of the law:

Only 1 bag for 1 person as personal language.  Either drop it or check it as regular one. – I can really give my self certificate in not knowing what is in my bag, awarded by Heathrow, mentor- Lufthansa.   I’ve even started to pack my personal documentation is regular bags. After she explained the rules, I saw my lap top, and I started feeling bad about the way I treat it, so I made the decidon: I’ll take my lap top with me, here are rest of the bags. She checked all the stuff, she did not even ask for my passport. I’m going all happy with my boarding pass, singing along, nothing happened this time –Good morning sir? Good morning. Lovely day… la la la… May I see you boarding pass and your passport please? Ye…ssssssssssss…Nooooooooooooooo, I forgot to take my passport out of the bag that is already in the plane!!!!\ Anyway, Simple airport, simply me, simple problem. Another good experience. All the employees that were near gate 66 that found about this came to me, asking me to give them authogram, for being not just a passenger, unique one. Anyway, people are being strict, might be, they MUST be, but if they manage to deal with me, and my problems they are GREAT. We can talk about airport. But when it comes to ours, Skopje airport. No, it is not Skopje, it is Alexander the Great airport Macedonia. Does it really worth to do that?! For that place, international cooperation with border countries is falling?! Veto for NATO?! Embargo again?! For the name. Why these problems?! If we put the name of the airport it might sound more gigantic?! Nor Zurich Airport has a name, nothing is wrong with it. It still is better developed as airport than my capital, city of Skopje. We have airport? In the start when you see it, after several comparisments with JFK and Heathrow,  you start wondering if this object has standards to be just a simple building, not to say airport?! Madonna has more square meters in her back yard than Alexander The great has at all.

In the first place, when you hear to the word Airport, your start to feel like dog before to be taken to the vet, because airport is not Time Square, nor Wembley, it is still a place where one of your closely related is taking millions of miles away from you.  After this kind of visits, you spent half a day emotionally disoriented.

And Second of all, knowing the first problem, you get bonus stress, YOU FLY FROM SKOPJE. The place is frustrating you even more, you do not have gates, and you do not have any kind of organization. The airport sucks, and I didn’t know that until it finally came my turn to cry for someone, not someone to cry for me.  I came to that conclusion, the time when we all went to cry for Sandra’s college trip to Milano. After you pass trough all the sentimental procedure, it is time to start the hide and seek game. Who first finds the plane that she is boarded in, wins, while the passenger is not playing anything, but just shocking. Did you guys from all around the world, knew that we do not have tunnels and busses to take you to the plane?!  No, here we are treated like you have been taken for a visit of some monument. And did you also know that in some cases, the boarding passes are without seat nr?! Can you imagine, what happens to you when you first time fly from Skopje?! Not thinking of that part, the sentimentalists of our group were still playing the game. After finally finding one air craft, we all got together, light a cigarette and started to cry and telling the strengths of Sandra. After 10 min crying in front of the plane, an SMS arrives: Hi mom, I’ve just got in the plane, we are flying in 20 min. Love you all. ?!?!?!?!?!?!? We all got the same look. Hello, how can she enter the plane now, when the plane was peppering to take off 15 min. already?! Were we crying in front of a wrong plane?! Did we cry for all the passenger?! Hey, here is another MAT airplane!!! We all run in front of it. In mean time, Dafe- Sandra’s mother, wrote the msg. We are up to cry in front of a red MAT, is that yours?! The new SMS arrived, Dafe- Hey guys, it is not that one either, the white one on the other side of the airport!!!!!! New jogging routine again. This is the longest marathon. As long as you arrive to the place where it is being park, it starts to move. You follow every step of the craft until it takes off. After these experiences, I really don’t plan to fly again from Skopje. The airport is even worse, when it comes for going back home. After 5 months has passed, I met Sandra in Milano.  We haven’t been home for a while, so we decided to supriece all of the friends. It was Feb. The Venice carnival was held and was a mess to find a plane ticket. Ok, no problem, we are not so far away, we will take the bus this time. You know, when it comes for going back to MKD, it really is better to travel by bus. 1. It is much cheaper, you safe like 200 euro. When you arrive in Skopje you arrive on the bus station, and the bus station is not much deferent than the airport, so why to pay more for no care?!  You meet nice people, Macedonians in Italy that are your age, you talk during the way. Plus, the best part is, even you try to sleep after Ljubljana, you can’t, because your dream is being interrupted by the holes on the road. After 4-5 tries, you get annoyed, so you decide to spend the time watching trough the window. This is the greatest advantage, because from time to time, you realized that you are being back to the Balkan
: garbage on the road, buses from 1941, YGO etc… so you are being already adjusted and you skip the scariest part: Civilization Shock. In other hand, if you arrive from Dallas, like mine case, all that truth about the airport… after 5 months away from home?!  All of a sudden?! Come on, I want relaxing trips.

Anyway, come and see, and tell me if you’d like to come back!!!!

So, you are alone again… Typical…Mon. – Thurs. 21.00 till you get sleepy… That is a lot of time my friend…

Even though you know you have to wake up early…Repeat the presentation. Make sure your suit is clean and ready to wear… The time is still not moving. You’ve smoked tons of cigarettes… Check the phone again… Still nobody… Ooook… Now is time to play “push as much more as you can, the send/receive button”. Come one… No junk mail… I AM WILLING TO READ VIAGRA ADVERTS… JUST NEED TO SPEND SOME TIME… and go to bed…. Look at the phone again… no calls… and is still 21.34…aaand 16 sec… Call my roommate… Nothing of him/her. That is the life when you live on the edge… No time for real relationship… No one to waste the time with… Not till Friday…. Come on… Why “Out of practice” “Will and Grace” begin at 22.30… And the thing that makes the situation even worse… I ever time begin to see the new- best season…. I’m allowed to do it MONDAYS ONLY?!

Oook, I have 30 more minutes, I have nothing to do, it is Thursday, and I’m alone and naked… But I’m wearing sunglasses… Let’s rock. You can feel the energy now. Make the plan now fast… If you do not make your self comfy, you will suffer for not being organized. The Coke… Where is my Coke…? Yes… Place it in the freezer… You were so tired when you came back from work that you forgot to place it in the “delicious maker”. Sandwiches… Yesss… It will take me 20 min… And 10 to decorate the bed… Bread… I need Bread… Ok… 3 min for each…Do not waste time… turkey or ham… salad or just some… take it all… hurry… While you take all of the stuff in the fridge… check on the Coke… Noo… Still not cold enough… Melons…I’m not supposed to eat this… Just make it delicious…2 peaces of brad are done… only 4 series, 2 for each, 6 more bread peaces… Is it enough… If I eat in normal way… I will be done by the first eight of the movie… Yes… Smoke cigarette after every 2 peaces, so you will have enough for all the series… Noooo… It is not the problem… There are commercials after every one… So … you will take each snack separated by the beginning for each series….Beeep… the brads are done… Run baby. Run…Make this one… Hamm?! 2 or 3 peaces of ham… Hmmm… I have 8 more left… Will I have enough for all the snacks…? Heyyyyyyyy…. I have a whole box of turkey… Just enjoy… Haaaaaa…this is fuuuun…. I feel happy… and this is making me REALLY hungry… Hmmm… smoke one cigarette… check the Coke… Yes…It is cold….heyyyy… I did not know that there are still micro chips in this fridge… ha…. Why not eat it…But I do not have enough for all the snacks… I can decorate the rest with Pringles (Even though in front of the colleagues you eat at the “Prêt a Manner and go to gym every day)… Can you imagine… I have pizza flavor…I’m the happiest person in the life… Put the micro chips in the micro wave…. Finish the cigarette… Fill the glass with Coke… Yes… I know you want it… Good boy/ girl… The first half of the sandwich is gone… Yess…There is 10 min brake between “Lost” and Grace Anatomy”… And it takes 6 to make one… Hmm… Go to the room… What?! My LCD’s gamma is not in the right angles… You are so addicted to the sandwich that you can not decide whether you like to make the TV in the right position or finish it… That is not the problem… Fill the mouth with the 1^st half of your “snack”. It is snack though… you eat it for TV…it has ham, turkey, tomato, mayones, ketchup, mustard, cucumber, and cheese. Heyy, how could I forget my salad cream…? I should add some on the rest of the “snack”. Now when you are sure the sandwich is safe in you mouth …you can fix the gamma angle… A bit left… A bit to the right… Woo…I’ve gain weight. This is not nice… Look at your self… This is the last day I’m…-beep, the bread is done- Eating this much… (Sure). Yesss… My snacks are all done… Take the Coke from the fridge… Heyyy…what is this cheesecake doing in my fridge… This and no more food for this night. Now you are all ready… Just try not to eat all the micro chips …. You know it is not much left… Now you are in the living room… The gamma is fixed; I have all the food on my table… Maaaaaaan… I need to be more responsible… I forgot my lighter in the kitchen… Oook… Now is fine… No… Nooo… I can not reach the glass…. No… I can reach the glass but the snacks are too far away… I take all on the sofa… Bing…Bing…Bonk Stupid remote control… Buy yourself new batteries… Turn the volume to 10000… no worries… the neighbor is in your position too… Oh… this is the life…. Tara tram… tarata ta taaam…  Come on…. Why they make the film theme so long… It is half of it… my sandwich is already gone….no… this is no good… You have promised to your self that you will eat 1 sandwich for one show… Hum… I can fix more during the commercial… So, you take bonus for the first show…

Will: I think that this new neighborhood is so nice…

You: Haaaaaaa ha ha ha…

Will: blab la blab

You: Haaaaa, ha ha….

Hmm… To be or not to be… Nooo, I said… Smoke cigarette instead of eating!!! This cigarette tastes bad…

I WANT TO EAT… no, not another sandwich… Pringles?! Yes… You got the whole nine yards, you got everything perfect, when you looked at the watch and realized that the whole food is already gone….And has passed maximum 20 minutes. I can’t move… I’m full… Oh my god… From tomorrow, I pay for every single Fashion and Workout channel that is available on TV…. No more food… But you still need to do something during the show…. Bored… You are even more bored… (25 min later)…Are these the same shows from last week?!… Well, you can not say that watching the last season is 3 times longer than it is fun… Still bored… You have never felt more bored in the entire life…. As the shows go on, you realize that you are looking for something… What is missing now…? Shut… And it was so big and good shaped…I’m picking my nose… and I’m enjoying it… So after you have finished your meal and realized that it is not a good thing to eat more, but you still needed to do something… So you started the “rhinotillexomania” process. It is a process containing several deferent levels. Level one, or known as the happiest level of the “rhinotillexomania” or in street language “nose picking”. It is the best, because the dryness’s level of the mucus is highest. You may produce so big balls. After you remove it from the nose, so you are supplied with row material, it needs to be placed in production level (shaping). The goal is to produce as bigger ball as you can. The bigger ball you make, the more level of satisfaction you get. If the raw material is not enough, or is already all used in the first level of the process, you wait for next 10-15 min. If the ball is so small, your hands are filled with bacteria, so you may use a bit of black bacteria. For this, you place half of the shaped material, on the top of the pointing finger. Half you leave on side, in case the trial does not succeed. Now, place it on the opposite hand. Push as hard as you can. Now you have more material. Until it gets dried, you have a ball to play with. Sometimes you fell the dried ones in the corner. But leave them… It will help and improve the production of vol. 2 balls. You are happy. It gets bigger and bigger. Enjoyable. Aha, serial 2 are done. With half of the ball take more of the row material. Now you are the happiest. You have enough material. You can shape it even in cylindrical forms. Balls. You can even get bored. You can smash the figure, and start the process all over again. You have spent so much time, that you forgot on the game when you lighted a cigarette. Nooo, did I miss it. Shout. Is it on my Shirt…? Where are you…? Do not leave me… Bu any way, it has passed a long time, so you have dried enough for production of a new one. You lose it… After a bit of time, you find your first one… You are happy. Yes you are… And you do the procedure all over and over… Until you go to bed….. But try not to do it in public.

To tell you honestly, the changes in society that are made- I simply adore it. I agree with the fact that level of economical-political environment is an unexplained space, but as long as globalization is in movement, I love this world. Ten years ago, “instant” was a word, ONLY used for some chemical reactions. Now we have instant soup, instant messenger, instant everything.  Even kids can activate the MMS application easier than I do. When I was 10, MMS was still in development, it might have been in beta use in US, so not to mention here.

I go outside I can hardly understand what people say. The language is filled with all these weird SC (short cuts). In past days, if you were having slag, you were judged for being threat of the society, because only cult members were having slang. Today, you can make a full project overview in only 10 words. Do you know how much time it took me until I broke the BRB or LOL code?! People seriously got the point Time is many, and everybody love many, so they have find the way in saving AMAP( as much as possible).   Unfortunately my society did not change much. I’ve visited half of the world, I’ve done 100000 things, but I go back home- I’m nerd. All un normal people are still normal for my society which means that according to the world’s healthy  branches focused in my society- I’m retarded. In full percentage. Communism is still popular here.

Kids in the West have the opportunities to meet professionals in kinder garden. Talk to them. Why your profession is better than other one. Help the kids to build their own personality in young days. And most important, kids are being tough why there are some things not supposed to be done, and some should. In my society, adults are not able to give you some explanations about many things, because the same were not explained to them. We have some sort of dictators, and the funniest is… the dictator doesn’t know what is dictating. Foe example,  An average kid, from average developed society is familiar with the fact that being a cab driver is not to own “Seat” but is to drive someone else’s “Seat” or with other words, driving the seat of the one who has spent enough brain on analyses for affording it. They are just able to make the deference. My nephew visited us last summer. He spent 2 days talking about PDF format. How in school they have to convert the Power Point presentation in PDF for the grades. In my place I can tell you if you tell PDF (and if you pronoun it in English

Language) people will just blink twice and laugh at you, not of the reason that PC is not affordable, but of the reason, people don’t want to switch from the Russian typing machines.

The mistake is huge. And it can be fixed, with a several reforms.  Sadly, nobody asked me and my friends for several advices, so I don’t care. People are happy for just what they have. They don’t even want to try to be informed. They don’t even want to see if there is an option. For example, they do not call the custom service nr. Because they didn’t know that it exists. But why to call?! Society in Balkan is going worse. The only product the can afford is the one without barcodes because the are cheaper. While people in the world are updating the RFID technology, if there is no bar code, there is no custom service line, and there is no customer service nice lady to apologize to you. While in the rest of the world, people write slogans “ Customers are all we care about” here no one cares about anything.

People here still live in this conservative society, kids are being tough about class deference, democracy as democracy is not being respected. Kids are not let to make own choices not until 18, and in my opinion, as long as parents who were born in 1945 control the movement of the modern society, the modern society will not be deferent from 1945 yet.

This can not continue like this. Let’s move to the age of 7/8. The mistake is here. It is all in the application for 1^st grade in junior high. The mistake is in the way of  classes are being formed. Actually?! You are in kinder garden, it is May, it is the last month of school,  and you are up to be sent to the real school. You make tests, and according to the grades they send you in junior high. No, No, no. This is the problem. On those tests, they make you draw a picture of your future career, picture of your family… Some kids draw all the people in pictures with dresses and pink clothes and on testing they fail. They ask kids – who is responsible for kitchen and who for the garage? – Does any kid have to have the same answer?! Why they just do not customize the test according to the kid’s society.  In this case, the kid can go in the same classroom with his best buddy in next grade, because of the fact two best friends have totally deferent family democracy. The test to be customized   would be better for the kid and for the parents as well.

The tests should be changed.  This is my way of the test, and I think it really would help to my society to move several steps forward: Kid goes to the psychologist in the school. And he/she asks him/her: Who makes the meal in your house and who drives the car?! The kid answers: My daddy makes the dinner; my mummy drives me to the schools. The psychiatrist: no honey. It is opposite. Father are not supposed to cook meal!  The kid fails, and is being depressed and most important confused because of only reason that the professionalism did not like to accept the differences in the family. How can the psychologist be 100% sure that his mommy did not find his daddy in agency for meeting people?! And they met each other in that time when they desperately needed to get married. In time when his mother was  doing bass in Metal Band, drinking tons of beer and driving cool motorcycle and depilation as a word was being erased in her vocabulary?! His dad in the same time was looking for another man?! But according to the descriptions he fail in love with him (in this case her). Decide to go on first date. Like each other, make compromise and decide to get married. After this reason the kid is punished and not sent to next level of education, not by his/hers fault, but because of his parents uniqueness and teachers conservatism. This is pure stigmatization.

In my opinion, those tests should be in multiply choice. The results are received, the 4 deferent groups are formed.1^st group: Panic kids. Kids that get panic for everything. Those would be the kids whose parents are actors, photo models, fashion designers…creative people . Everything should be don by team.  2^nd group- bi/gay marriage kids. In case if the kid is being asked what brand is your mom’s car, the answers: mom Subject 1 or mom Subject 2.

Group nr. 3 for kids whose parents are in Madonna style… ect. ect. If it is like this, all the kids will be intellectually developed. So the parent s will not worry about who is the hooligan that you go outside. And the kid will be happy because it will have no limits in the playground.

Automatically the book is going to be published. Customized edition for each group.

It will not be logical for group nr 1 to study divide in pictures made in photo paint if kid’s parents taught him how to use Adobe Bridge while he was 4, so the kid would not be willing to study because the design of the book is being too simple. Can you imagine how much  fun  the classes would  be and how fast the brain development process would be as well?!

Group nr 3

Student: Wow teacher. Your hair is taking my breath away.

The teacher:Mmm, yeah?! It is… (Waves the hair just like in Wash and Go commercial)

Kid nr 2: with only small layer of it… (The kid waves in the same way)

Kid nr.3: And it is damn good Wash and Go

The teacher: Ok, enough of it. Who forgot to write the homework?

Kid nr 4: I did not

The teacher: it is very important for you to know +,-, /,*

Kid nr 4: But I did. I went to the gym with my daddy. We did 3 series in abs exercises. 10 push ups, in each of 3 series equals 30.

The teacher: Bravo, you already did a better job. Nice thing……

Can you imagine? Until 15 your kid will be so developed that you will not have to worry about anything when the time for high school will come. Until then you will find enough proud in the life of your kid. – He will learn C++, all the adobe or maybe auto cut as well.  In future will be able to do some excavations that of courese will be excused because he/she was great boy all the previous years.

Nice composition ha?!

Forget the doctors, forget advertising, now I really know what I’m missing in my life- Training, of my so not sophisticated tenor voice. I got the point. Training of the voice, leads to singing in bars (unless your father is not famous singer already) and singing in bars, leads to manager, manager leads to popularity, popularity = celebrity. Why I missed the chance. Even though Eisenhower Senior High was amazed from my voice, I still kept walking on dream line- education. I should have start singing career already.  Gosh I admire them. Do they even have problems?! – excluding the ones when their dogs gain wait?! They do not even have to be careful on the grammar- as long as it rimes (if it is song) or as long as it is touchy.  The hardest problem to solve in the year, and the only concern they have is weather to buy house on Malibu or house in OC?! Who is going to deign the seats in my new private jet?! …  The rest is all left to the manager. Then all problems are being solved.  What you need to do to become a celebrity : You write several songs (optional, if you can, if not others do it for you) just for expressing some of the talent, learn to act like Casper -here you are in the center of the stage, jump, jump, jump, Ops, you appear on the right corner, until audience sees you there, you are in the center of the stage again and they are amazed of the dance- an that is it- more or less. Several debates about world peace (even though most of them are just saying already written lines). Gosh it is easy.  Donate several of the cash you earn for people starving in Africa, adopt one or two children and here you are… center of the gossips. Scary is though as well, the glory might hit you in brain so hard, that make you do some unreasonable tings : cut your hear, miss several tattoos… but come on, we are people, we can forgive and forget. Audience is here, and they will forgive after several touchy speeches.  Alternatively, if your glory scale starts slowing down, next step you start designing purse, back pack, poop scooper eventually (just to be unique) put you initials on the object you decide to make (optional as well) and here you are back again. Dating problems are solved, all sport players, film director’s, models …. Everything is yours. You put veto on stuff during your tour, I like this kind of food, don’t like this,  even though you do not know why you put it, or at least what veto is, but come on, you have the power, and it is fun, so let me do it. You can order Pizza Hunt in Kentucky, or order Kentucky in Starbucks, you are the star, and they must support you with the best offer. If not, otherwise you ill not appear on the next billboard of the company- it is ok for you, ok for them… TELL ME WHERE IS CELEBERY SCHOOL, I’m going to enroll right now. After all the advantages you get, yes I want to become one. You are center of the world, even though you haven’t had any idea of what politics is, after several lines in Russian-American action movie, people are amazed how you said them, and are so confident in you that let you become part of solving important international economic- political questions.  You become so important, that people even forget that you as celebrity are just a normal person, forget that you have needs as pee, poop and stuff, and start mind all those stuff. You are Latino, you have small penis, you smoke weed – like 95 % never heard of that, but now are valid as an example of perfection so you can not make any excuses. You are not human being. Government demands- law is law, no drugs allowed, fashion designers as well- no, really why sometimes they dress so funny, like they don’t have cash?! Ecological organizations give you green card for burping in public… Every move is being followed. It is ok in the beginning, but afterwards it is all over reacted, you must find the best way out, to get your glamour reputation back. But no worries, it is all going to be solved.   If you enjoy doing all those stuff, that normal celebrity is not supposed to, all you need to do is make an offensive in new releases, make a song, a movie or something like it( depending on the filed in which you are celebrity), not directly but still amazingly tell about how proud of those lacks you are. So if you admit that, the paparazzi will leave you alone and massively people will start doing your mistakes and be proud of that too.  My best example of that that kind of released ART-PR project (song in this situation), produced to be catchy, easy to dance, accepted by all the artist’s funs, not clearly understood by them, but still having a message for influencing on the public awareness, telling some disabilities about the private life of the performer, is definitely Enrique Iglesias. He is so democratic, that does not mind telling everything about his privacy. Even about his penis. I guess he is being so proud about his penis, that he made a whole song about it. Who is proud of what, sings about it. Madonna write about her loved Laureate, Me, for my friends, Enrique for his penis. Must be so prod of it. Here is how I understand it.

Don’t turn of the lights- By Enrique, 2004

I don’t have to tell you
what this is all about – Oh my gosh, there is going to be a big surprise? Woman love surprises. Is he going to propose her?! Is there a ring?! She gets so excited to see the diamonds.
Cause baby half the fun
is in us figuring it all out – No, no no; I’m not going to tell it, the time will pass faster like that. And I’m not hungry for pizza orders. So enjoy as I do.
So why you gotta ask me
What I’m doing now- He turns around with his back towards her?! She gets even exciter; he will stop wasting time and still confidently is waiting for her diamonds!
Cause I don’t like to question
What I still haven’t found- Waiting for the diamonds again. Unfortunately she forgot that they have made a deal, not to mention his Latino  roots, and continuously keep saying : gimme, gimme, gimme- the diamond of course. He is excited as well, because he see her happy and thinks that she already found out what that is all about.  Easily he turns, wearing new boxers, in his arm is holding some pills. She still is excited until he finally turns around. She gets the point and makes a sad face.
So don’t turn off the lights
I don’t wanna be in the dark tonight- He doesn’t stop to work out on the Latino thing, and is doing all the best to make her scream during the game. He jumps on her, starting with the gift. She is so disappointed, she didn’t got the diamonds, kind of accepting the game but still insisting on “Turn off the lights” thing, as matter of respect, it is not his fault that he didn’t buy her the ring that she was expecting it for long time, from the other hand is moving one step forward to the ring- improving the sex life. The whole situation made her dry, politely accepts him but thinking of something else. So turn off the lights!!! He insists, tries to escape the situation about having a bad dream last night, so he needs the light on, as well, he bought this new Viagra pills, the new tang, so he wants to see whether she will make changes in the face during the foreplay. Is there going to be the miracle?!
Cause I can’t read your mind
I need to know if what I’m doing is right- They start a big fight, arguing about the lights. Both of them credibly fight for the rights. In the fight, he loses control and spills the truth over his tongue: I both this new pills for you, you never make any voice during the game, I just need to know if what I’m doing is right, so I can get over everything. I will be order more and it will be all perfect. Just this night, and you ruined it.  
Don’t turn off the lights She agrees. It is fair- she scarifies one night and one important thing is solved. They start the game, no changes are made. Accidently she switches the lamp off. He gets mad, but doesn’t stop doing it, she doesn’t make any moves again, he gets embarrassed and the fights start again. He moves on the edge of the bed and sits alone, she feels sorry and makes plan how to make him horny again. 
So tell me how we’re gonna get there
It’s hard to even try – The fight made the pills effect disappear, sitting on the edge of the bed,  with several tears talking to his penis, kind of stimulating him- you disappointed me! You feel sleepy, now it does not worth to even try. Tell me how me gonna get there?!
But if we move together

We’ll end up on the same side – Ana feels sorry, she. Even worse she feels when she sees how Enrique emotionally is connected with his insulted pal. She goes towards him, gives him a hug, with other hand takes the pills, stimulating both of them and restarts the game according to new rules.
So don’t turn off the lights
I don’t wanna be in the dark tonight
‘Cause I can’t read your mind
I need to know if what I’m doing is right
So don’t turn off the lights- Singing this, just to reminds her not to make anything bad again. He just feels good, and starting the fight all over again will be another time waste so :
So don’t turn off the lights
if you could know what I’m feeling

Would you run and where would you go – She is being a good girl, she is even satisfied. Good pills, I’d like to buy those too. He finally got his sexual confidence; he is strong man in bed now. The whole positive situation made him great lover. Not just that she is satisfied, she feels pain. She even has needs to make a break. He is superior- come here! Who is a bad lover now, let me hear, who is the bad lover now?!
If you want to see what I’m thinking
Then just turn on the lights and you’ll know- She has no escape, both of them are happy, he gets the biggest smile in the world. She just can not think of what is running trough his brain. She doesn’t mind the light situation any more. Nor him after that getting that confidence?!